Zim's Terribly Horrible Game of Doom!
by Mayonaka Kitsune
Summary: Gaz's video game addiction gives Zim a new idea... one that will surely make all humans submit to his power! But things get tricky when his own robotic minion falls victim to a game obsession himself.


This was the first idea that popped into my head for an IZ fanfic that actually has a decent storyline that keeps the same feeling of the show (meaning, isn't serious or angsty). Therefore… I won't be surprised if this plot has already been done many times before. :P If it has, hopefully I'm doing it differently.

I'm aware that Zim more than likely knows what video games are. (In the pilot, he was playing one, after all. I'm not sure if that counts, though. :P) In this story, he has a basic idea of what they are, but is just learning the "powers" they hold. Ahh, oblivious little Zim. :)

I don't own anything here, aside from a few random things like the video game titles. Nothing of importance. All the cool stuff belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. I envy him.

Enjoy your DOOM!

Kitsune

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"All right, Gaz, he's coming this way."

Dib crouched lower in an attempt to be stealthy in his hiding spot around the corner of the skool hallway. He grinned cunningly as his nemesis approached, contentedly whistling and completely unaware of their presence.

"You remember the plan, right?" he inquired, referring to the plan to capture Zim he'd been up all night explaining to Gaz. It was an extremely simple plan, really… only using the element of surprise. All they had to do was catch him off-guard and… well, catch him. (He honestly didn't know why he hadn't thought of such a simple idea before – he'd become quite good at catching the alien off-guard lately.) The only reason he had to stay up so late to explain this to Gaz was because she wouldn't even let him say so much as a word to her until she finished the sixty-seventh level on _Vampire Piggy Hunter 3: Zombie Swine from the Beyond._

Gaz grunted as she pressed buttons furiously on her Game Slave. Honestly, she hadn't heard a word her brother had said all day. She only had nine more levels to go now before she beat her game, and she wasn't about to let her brother's inane ramblings get in the way.

Dib smiled, taking her silence as a 'yes.'

"Great!" He turned his attention back to his target. "Finally… we'll have that alien right where we want him…" The young boy waited anxiously, the insane grin on his face widening as the Irken approached their hiding spot, still whistling cheerfully and utterly oblivious to the siblings' presence. Dib grasped the rope he held behind his back tighter as Zim came closer… and closer…

"NOW, Gaz! Attack!" Dib cried as he jumped out of his spot triumphantly and held out the rope.

"Geh!" Zim stumbled backwards, startled. After nothing further happened, he blinked in confusion.

Dib blinked as well, wondering why Gaz hadn't pinned him down yet. He turned back to Gaz, who was walking off in the other direction, engrossed in her game. "Uh, Gaz?" he called after her. "I don't think you understood my plan!" He waited for a response, but Gaz just kept walking. "But that's okay! Good try, anyway! We'll go over it at home some more and try again tomorrow!"

The sound of Zim's snickering brought Dib's gaze back around to the small alien.

"Poor, pathetic Dib…" Zim teased with a toothy grin. "Even your own sister – the only other human aware of my **amazing** true self - could care less about your plans to expose me! Poor, sad, pitiful stink-beast…"

Dib scowled and looked back to his sister just in time to see her turn a corner and go out of view. "If it wasn't for that stupid game…" he muttered, crossing his arms.

"Hmm…" Zim took a few steps forward to stand next to Dib, his gaze also where Gaz had turned the corner. "Exactly what _is_ that… _thing_ the Gaz creature is always carrying around, anyway?" he asked curiously, a hand to his chin in thought.

Dib sighed in irritation. "It's called a video game, you buffoon. She plays the thing non-stop. No matter what I do I can't get her to look away from it. It stinks." He peevishly kicked an empty can of Poop Cola lying on the ground, causing it to slam into a locker. "Stupid game…"

Zim's eyes widened briefly as a plan began to form in his mind. He grinned maliciously, narrowing his eyes and clasping his hands together. "Yes… it seems this game has some sort of hold on the human. A sticky, gluey, holdy hold… yes…"

Dib casually stuffed his hands into his pockets as Zim continued muttering to himself. "Well, I'm just gonna go home now and, uh, work on a plan to stop whatever plan you're planning now. I'll see you tomorrow."

Zim snapped out of his reverie. "Eh.. yes! You do that! And, eh… I… I'll stop you from stopping my plan… and stuff… tomorrow."

Zim waved cheerfully as if he were waving good-bye to a long-time friend. Dib just shrugged and headed for home. Dropping his friendly façade, Zim's evil grin returned as he watched his enemy leave. "This should be fun."

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"GIR! I am home from yet another day of tormenting the puny-brained wormbabies! Fetch me a refreshing Poop Cola to satisfy the mighty thirst of your master!"

Zim shut the door and glanced around the living room suspiciously. It was quiet… something unheard of in the home of Zim.

"Hey… where are the Robo-Parents…?" he questioned aloud, taking off his human disguise. The robots always greeted him upon his return… their absence was quite alarming. Refreshing, but alarming.

"**Computerrr!** Where are the Robo-Parents? And where is GIR? Tell **ZIIIM**!"

He was answered with a deep mechanical voice radiating from seemingly every wall of the house.

"_Analyzing base for subjects 'GIR' and 'Robo-Parents._'" Zim tapped his foot impatiently as various computer noises emanated from the house. "_Subjects found. Location: laboratory, primary chamber._"

"In the lab?"

"_That's what I said._"

Zim hurried over to the kitchen toilet and flushed himself down into the main chamber of his underground laboratory. He didn't even want to think of what kind of destruction could have arisen with GIR alone in his lab… with the Robo-Parents of all things!

"GIR!" Zim shouted as he jumped out of the seat he was deposited in located toward the top of the large room and made his way to the ground level. "GIR! I demand to know what horrors you have unleashed on the base of ZIIIIM! If you've let another hideous mutant skunk monster escape, you won't so much as _see_ a SuckMunkey for the next – eh?"

Zim's rant was cut short at the sight of his little robot minion gaping at the large screen monitor Zim used so often to send transmissions to his leaders. The Robo-Parents were seated behind him, mindlessly shoving popcorn into their mechanical mouths yet only succeeding in getting most of it on the floor.

"Not that stupid monkey creature again…" Zim grumbled as he walked over to see just what it was that his minions were so enraptured over. Zim blinked at the sight of the Scary Monkey, but it wasn't just staring at the screen this time. It was jumping over… large barrels of toxic waste?

"Jump, monkey, jump!"

At the sound of GIR's gleeful voice, Zim's head snapped down to glare at his diminutive sidekick. Before he could demand to know what was going on, a controller clasped in GIR's hands caught his eye. He stumbled back with a gasp.

"GIR! Get away from that… that thing! Do you know what this _is_?"

"Well, _yeah…_" GIR answered, as if everyone else on the planet knew what it was aside from Zim. He went on happily, never tearing his iridescent aqua eyes from the screen. "It's my new Scary Monkey video game! _'Scary Monkey's Toxic Waste Dump Adventures!' _It's neat."

"No, GIR! It's not neat! It's bad! These things are hypnotic! Hypnotic, I tell you! Are you even listening to me?"

GIR's eyes narrowed slightly and his tongue poked out as he absorbed himself with trying to get the monkey to scale a gigantic mountain of garbage. Zim fumed silently for a few moments before trying again. He let out a sigh.

"GIR…" he began slowly with a shrewd smile. "I'll give you a taco if you put down that stupid game…" Zim looked mildly disturbed as his words went unheeded.

"Eh… _two_ tacos and a SuckMunkey, then!" Zim's worry increased even further as GIR still paid no attention to his master's attempts to entice him away from the video game. He growled as GIR giggled insanely as he made the monkey eat the radioactive compost.

"THREE TACOS, GIR!" Zim shouted. "THREE TACOS AND A WHOLE CASE OF SUCKMUNKEYS! And I'll even throw in a rubber piggy."

Zim smiled excitedly as his negotiation finally won him GIR's attention. His smile quickly faded, however, when he took note of the robot's narrowed eyes, now glowing with a dangerously red light.

"I'M NOT DONE PLAYIN' WITH THE MONKEY YET!" GIR shrieked, getting in Zim's face to do so. As Zim stumbled backwards, dizzy and antennae twitching in pain from the sheer volume of his minion's outburst, GIR's eyes immediately went back to their complacent aqua glow and he settled back into his game, humming happily.

Zim shook his head, trying to get the ringing he heard to go away. He put a hand to the top of his head, rubbing his now throbbing antennae, and glared at the once again happy GIR.

"These games hold more power than I had ever expected…" Zim mused aloud. "If a mere human video game can even hypnotize a being of superior Irken technology… no matter how stupid that being my be… then who _knows_ what an _Irken_ game could do to the humans!"

Zim cackled in evil delight as his plan grew more and more clear in his mind. Ah, how the humans would rue the day Zim had landed on this stinking ball of filth! Oh, how they would –

Zim's laughing was interrupted by a bag of popcorn being thrown at his head.

"I'M STILL PLAYIN' HERE!" GIR shouted angrily before being distracted by the game once more. "Ooh! Explodin' bananas! Doo de doo do dooooo…"

Zim glared crossly, a single antenna twitching in irritation as the greasy butter oozed down his face. It was time to start work on this brilliant plan… before he sent GIR to his very own private toxic waste dump. In many pieces.


End file.
